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Mary's Journey to Parenthood

My name is Mary & I am a new Mom of a little boy named Jaxon. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me and everyday I have the pleasure of taking care of him I am reminded how big and powerful God is. Jaxon is absolutely a miracle and living proof that they do happen.

I always wanted to be a Mother since I was a little girl.

Unfortunately, I did not have good luck with the men in my life. Every relationship I became involved in always ended up not working out. Throughout my 20's and 30's I was a free spirit dating different people and had a few long term boyfriends. Nobody was good enough to have a child with nor was I fit to be a Mother at that time. So I kind of just let the idea of having a baby go. 

When I turned 39 I had a big wake up call as I discovered a lump on my left breast.

It turned out to be breast cancer and I suddenly found myself fighting for my life.

At that I time, I was heartbroken because I knew that the chemotherapy and radiation treatments would make my body infertile. I had no time to freeze my eggs because my cancer was triple negative the most aggressive type of breast cancer.  By the Grace of God the treatment was a success and I was cancer free. I had a full mastectomy and breast reconstruction surgery. I went through several surgeries and many complications but by the time I was 42 I looked like myself again and felt even better. All of my doctors warned me about going into early menopause after chemo but that never happened. I had a normal cycle every month. It gave me a glimmer of hope. I never gave up in my mind. I knew I survived cancer for a reason and that I had a purpose as cliché as this may sound, I knew in my heart something bigger than myself was working in my life.

I began to exercise regularly and eat right. I quit smoking. Eventually I quit my party lifestyle altogether and moved away from the town I was living in to start a fresh new life. I settled by the beach and got a good job and enrolled in nursing school. I was so proud of myself that I got my stuff together but still felt like something was missing. On the 4th of July, my parents came over to visit me. Out of the blue my Mother looked at me and asked when I was going to give her a grandchild. She informed me that her and my Dad have all this money and nobody to leave it to when they die.  I glared back at her in disbelief and told her that I was sorry but that baby ship sailed a long time ago. She shot back at me defiantly and said "I want a grandbaby so look into it!"  I had just read about an actress that gave birth to her daughter at 54 years old. I was 46 and 6 years cancer free. It made sense to me to inquire further. I googled infertility treatments near me and HRC came up (specifically Dr. Michael Feinman) in Westlake Village. I decided to write him an email and told him about my situation. I also looked at the website and for the first time read about embryo adoption

I was fascinated by the concept and instinctively knew that this was the beginning of my journey to Motherhood. Dr. Feinman wrote me back and let me know that I had no chance of becoming pregnant on my own because of my age and cancer treatments. I argued with him at first because I was still menstruating regularly. He said I could try IVF with my own eggs but I would be wasting valuable time and money and very likely end up childless. I accepted the reality of my situation and was ready to move on and discuss the embryo implantation process. He referred me to the agency he worked with closely called Nexus. He told me to contact Lucy and she would get me started. I went home that day and did what I was told. Lucy got back to me immediately and helped me get logged into their website and there I was looking for an embryo to adopt. It didn't take me long to decide who I wanted.

It's hard to explain the feeling I got when I saw the young lady in the picture. Not only was she beautiful but a good person that was willing to donate her eggs to help somebody in my situation.

Donor Nexus made it so easy and hassle free. Once I decided on the embryo, I was well on my way. I hit one more delay during an examination with Dr. Feinman. I had benign fibroids in my uterus I had to get removed before becoming pregnant. I had that surgery in October and by January 18th I had the embryo implanted via IVF at their Encino office. It took the first try and I found out I was pregnant January 29th 2019.

I was so excited I screamed "I'm Pregnant!" in my nursing class. Everybody started clapping. It was such a glorious feeling.

I called my Mom the minute I left class and when she answered I asked for Grandma. She started to cry and so did my Dad. They suggested I sell my condo and move closer to them and offered to buy a house for myself and the baby. In the meantime I could live with them. I had no problem with any of it since my school was much closer to them than me and moved in with them.

During an ultrasound it showed that I had twins but one was missing. They called it Vanishing Twin Syndrome I ended up miscarrying the fetus and was put on strict bed rest for months. I was terrified when I saw the blood but reassured when I heard a strong heartbeat inside me the next day. I made the decision to quit nursing school until after I gave birth and my school said I could come back whenever I was ready. Everything went well for us after that. I no longer was on bed rest but got weekly ultrasounds throughout the rest of my pregnancy. 

On October 2nd 2019 my beautiful, incredible, adorable son came into the world and God truly Blessed my family that day. Jaxon has completed me. There is no longer an emptiness within my soul.

My Father is going through kidney disease and Jaxon in the force that keeps him going forward. My Mother is the happiest I have ever seen her. This baby is not only wanted but truly adored. I am lucky that my parents have provided the means to secure his future so it takes a lot of stress off my shoulders. I just feel so lucky and my heart sings when I look into his eyes. He is healthy and vibrant and the greatest gift I could ask for. I am so grateful to my doctor and especially Nexus for making all of this possible. I cannot thank these people enough. When Jaxon is old enough to understand his circumstances I will support him on finding his biological parents and siblings. I want him to have everything his heart desires. I also want for whoever is reading this to know that you too can have what your heart desires as well if that desire is to have a child of your own. It is never too late and please do not give up no matter what kind of circumstances you are under. Follow your heart and believe in the process. May God Bless all of you. 

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